The Vast Majority of Australians Want Action on Climate Change. They’ve Said So At Least 45 Times.

There are still many uncertainties remaining in climate science. When will we reach the first irreversible tipping point? Is there really any chance of staying below 1.5 oC of warming? How quickly will humans curb their addiction for burning fossil fuels?

Fossil fuel addiction

Of course, some things are certain. Or at least, they are backed up by such an overwhelming amount of evidence that we may as well say that they are certain. We know that the planet has warmed by more than 1 oC already. We know that it will warm by more than 1.5 oC unless we take drastic action. And we know that this warming is primarily driven by human activities.

One other certainty, that is seldom spoken about, is that the vast majority of Australians accept that climate change is occurring. They also accept that it is caused by humans, and they support action to address it. It’s easy to get the impression that we are a nation of climate science deniers, but studies have shown over and over and over again that it’s simply not true.

Climate change protest

To illustrate this I’ve compiled all the studies I can find. There are 45 different studies by 11 different organisations over 16 years. Each of these gleaned information from a nationally representative sample of Australians (with a sample of size of usually more than 1000). For each, I’ve included a link to the details, as well as a key statistic …

• 1. Lowy Institute 2021: 74% said the benefits of taking further action on climate change will outweigh the costs.
• 2. Australia Institue 2021: 81% said climate change is occurring
• 3. Essential 2021: 67% said climate change is a very important issue.
• 4. Australian Conservation Foundation 2021: 77% said climate change is important to their vote in the next federal election.
• 5. Lowy Institute 2020: 56% said global warming is a serious and pressing problem.
• 6. Australia Institue 2020: 79% said climate change is occurring.
• 7. Essential 2020: 71% said they support a net zero emissions 2050 target.
• 8. Lowy Institute 2019: 61% said global warming is a serious and pressing problem.
• 9. Essential 2019: 62% said climate change is caused by human activity.
• 10. Australia Institue 2019: 77% said climate change is occurring

The proportion of those that are truly resistant to climate action has never reached above 19% in 15 years (Lowy Institute)

• 11. Lowy Institute 2018: 84% said the government should focus on renewables, even if we need to invest more in infrastructure to make the system more reliable.
• 12. Australia Institue 2018: 76% said climate change is occurring
• 13. Essential 2018: 63% said climate change is caused by human activity.
• 14. Lowy Institute 2017: 54% said we should take steps against global warming now even if it involves significant costs.
• 15. Australia Institue 2017: 71% said climate change is occurring.
• 16. Essential 2017: 64% said climate change is caused by human activity.
• 17. Lowy Institute 2016: 53% said global warming is a serious and pressing problem.
• 18. Australia Institue 2016: 77% said climate change is occurring.
• 19. Essential 2016: 57% said climate change is caused by human activity.
• 20. Australia Institue 2015: 70% said climate change is occurring

The proportion of true “deniers” has never reached above 16% in 9 years (Australia Institute)

• 21. Lowy Institute 2014: 63% said Australia should take a leadership role on reducing emissions.
• 22. Australia Institue 2014: 70% said climate change is occurring
• 23.CSIRO 2013: 85% said that climate change is happening.
• 24.Lowy Institute 2013: 84% said that global warming should be addressed.
• 25. Australia Institue 2013: 66% said climate change is occurring
• 26. CSIRO 2012: 85% said that climate change is happening.
• 27. Lowy Institute 2012: 81% said that global warming should be addressed.
• 28. Australia Institue 2012: 64% said climate change is occurring.
• 29. Griffith 2012: 74% said the climate is changing.
• 30. CSIRO 2011: 87% said that climate change is happening.

An easy majority in every state supports strong 2030 emissions targets (Australian Conservation Foundation 2021)

• 31. Lowy Institute 2011: 81% said that global warming should be addressed.
• 32. Lowy Institute 2010: 86% said that global warming should be addressed.
• 33. CSIRO 2010: 83% said that climate change is happening.
• 34. ARCCANSI 2010: 78% said that climate change is happening.
• 35. IPSOS 2010: 77% said that climate change is human-induced.
• 36. Newspoll 2010: 73% said that climate change is happening.
• 37. CSIRO Science into Society Survey 2010: 63% said that climate change is happening.
• 38. Essential Media 2009: 53% said that climate change is human-induced.
• 39. Lowy Institute 2009: 87% said that global warming should be addressed.
• 40. Thermometer 2009:73% said that climate change is human-induced.

An easy majority of Australians think climate change is a very important issue, regardless of who they vote for (Essential 2021)

• 41. Lowy Institute 2008: 60% said that global warming is a serious and pressing problem.
• 42. Newspoll 2008: 84% said that climate change is happening.
• 43. Thermometer 2008: 73% said that climate change is human-induced.
• 44. Australian Gallup Poll 2008: 52% said that climate change is human-induced.
• 45. Lowy Institute 2006: 68% said that global warming is a serious and pressing problem.

Hey, you might be interested in some older stuff I posted that’s kind of on this topic. Try it out here, here and here.

It’s Getting Hot in Here …

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Further reading.

Five Little Ducks – Part 2

 

But not even one little duck came back …

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mother Duck went out one day,

Over the hills and far away,

Mother Duck said …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And you can bet your ass that every single one of those little ducks came back.

 

Five Little Ducks – Part 1

Five little ducks went out one day,

Over the hills and far away,

Mother duck said, “Quack. Quack Quack Quack.”

But only four little ducks came back.

 

Four little ducks went out one day,

Over the hills and far away,

Mother duck said, “Quack. Quack Quack Quack.”

But only three little ducks came back.

 

Three little ducks went out one day,

Over the hills and far away,

Mother duck said, “Quack. Quack Quack Quack.”

But only two little ducks came back.

 

Two little ducks went out one day,

Over the hills and far away,

Mother duck said, “Quack. Quack Quack Quack.”

But only one little duck came back.

 

One little duck went out one day,

Over the hills and far away,

Mother duck said…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To be continued…

5 Reasons Why ‘Blinky Bill’ is Way More Messed Up Than You Thought

Blinky Bill. Australia’s favourite lovable larrikin. You may know him from this cartoon …

… or from the 2015 movie  …

… or perhaps you have no idea what I’m talking about because you’re not a 90’s kid from Australia who watched too many cartoons. Either way, you are probably not familiar with Blinky’s dark origin story from the 1930’s …

I was given this book (which is a collection of three stories) as a child, and now that I have a kid myself, I’ve been gifted it again (though I suppose, technically it’s for my child, not me). You would think that seeing that same cheeky koala on the cover would send waves of nostalgia through me – but mostly it just made me think of how disturbing I found the book when I was younger.

Don’t believe me that a story about a koala could be full of unimaginable horrors? Well read on and find out for yourself.

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1. Blinky (Maybe) Kills the World’s Nicest Frog and Doesn’t Even Care

Let’s start with the part I found most troubling.

In the first story the little koala runs away from home to explore the bush, and stumbles upon a school for frogs. Apparently the school has a “No Bears” policy but the teacher, Mrs Spotty, decides its okay for Blinky to join in – because she’s either really nice or she just understands that koalas aren’t actually bears. She even invites Blinky to join in on a game of leapfrog.

And that’s where everything goes horribly wrong.

Yes, Blinky’s turn results in him squashing poor Mrs Spotty into something resembling a pancake. Thankfully the story points out that she’s not dead. Yet.

“‘Oh I’ve killed her!’ he cried in a frightened voice … She certainly did look flat; but her throat was puffing and one eye moved a little.”

Blinky then pushes her into the water, which you’d think might be the right thing to do (frogs do like water after all). Except that it clearly wasn’t.

“He gave her a push with his paw, and in she went, head first. ‘Now you’ve done it!’ called the frogs in cries of horror. ‘We’ll tell the policeman.'”

With the reader left to think that Mrs Spotty may have met her watery demise, Blinky hightails it out of there. Still, Blinky apparently doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong – because the frog he may have killed was kind of ugly anyway.

“‘I’m not sorry for Mrs Spotty, she had such googly eyes.'”

And if you’re anxious to know that Mrs Spotty was okay – bad luck. The reader has to wait 40 pages for the next story, which has one off-hand, slightly ambiguous comment in a discussion about a bush bazaar.

“Last year Mrs Thrush sang for us … and Mrs Spotty Frog’s pupils gave an exhibition of jumping.”

Not entirely reassuring but I guess it’ll have to do.

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2. Mrs Snake and Granny Goanna Die in Agony Under Blinky’s Command

In the second story, Blinky colludes with an army of bull-ants to launch an ambush attack on an elderly goanna and her snake friend. Here’s an excerpt from this charming moment in children’s literature …

“‘For heaven’s sake save me, save me!’ moaned Granny Goanna, as she hissed until all her hisses had gone.”

And another …

“Oh! Oh! I’m dying!” groaned Mrs Snake, and she fell with a thud to the ground. In another second plopped down Granny Goanna, as dead as a door nail.”

The ants bite the pair to death and then feast on their flesh until only bones are left, and Blinky watches the whole thing with glee.

To be fair, the goanna and snake were planning to eat the children of Miss Possum, so they kind of deserved it. Still, it’s not exactly the light and fluffy, child-friendly material you’d usually associate with cuddly koalas.

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3. So Much Corpse Desecration

One of the moments that sets the surprisingly macabre tone of the book, comes right at the beginning when Mrs Rabbit is talking about her dead husband …

“‘Poor Mr Rabbit was shot, and I found his skin nearby; but I managed to bite off the tail and bring it home.”

Yes, innocent Mrs Rabbit actually bites off a body part of her deceased lover to keep as a souvenir. To make it worse, the tail is then promptly eaten by a snake who thinks it’s a baby koala – because these stories are also full of attempted infanticide.

The carnage isn’t over though as, not long after, the body of another dearly departed bunny is tampered with. Again it’s as a decoy for a would-be predator but this time the whole corpse is stuffed full of prickles and propped up as if it were alive – making it look like something from a rabbit version of Hellraiser.

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4. A Cute Joke Ends With Someone Buried Alive

Crickets playing a game of cricket. Adorable, right? Especially when it’s coupled with this illustration …

However, things take a dark turn when the crickets start savagely beating one of their own then burying him alive. Of course Blinky is not phased by this and simply leaves the crickets to their business.

“They pounced on him and gave him a terrible kicking; and as Blinky turned to walk away he saw them piling earth on top of the bowler.”

And what was the victim’s crime that made him deserve such a punishment?

He broke the cricket ball.

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5. Blinky Traumatically Injures an Elderly Rabbit as a Prank

At one point, Blinky ends up at a party for rabbits. He has no business being there but, once again, he is allowed to hang around due to the kindness of the other bush animals. So how does he repay this kindness?

He yanks the tail of elderly, Madam Hare.

At first this doesn’t seem so bad. Madam Hare is depicted as a bit mean anyway, and Blinky does get rather severe comeuppance when he is found out (he is literally kicked out of the rabbit burrow). But there’s one passage that changes everything …

“She looked a sorry sight with her stumpy tail showing bone”

He ripped the flesh off her tail all the way down to the bone! Suddenly it’s clear that this wasn’t just a harmless prank – it was an attempt to inflict maximum pain and maybe even cause sickness …

“‘My poor tail has been pulled again, and you all know it’s moulting time. I’ll catch a dreadful cold is I lose any more fur.'”

And at this point one thing is as plain as day.

This is the face of pure evil.

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If you’d like to traumatise your own children with Blinky’s adventures, the three stories are available for free online here, here and here. Or for more overanalysis of kids’ tales, check out my Happy Feet or Winnie the Pooh rants.

Andy’s Movie List 2015

(Note: Eligibity for the list is based on Australian release dates).

A new year has begun, so why not celebrate by watching some of the best movies of the year just gone?

“But which movies to watch?” I hear you ask.

Well if you’re asking me, the films in the list below should be top priority. And if you’re not asking me, you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog. Seriously, there are plenty of other things you could be doing with your time. I hear that knitting is fun.

This could be you.

10. Avengers: Age of Ultron

It packs so much into its running time that it feels like a bit of a mess, but Marvel’s latest mega-blockbuster is still a fine example of crowd-pleasing entertainment. Superhero-fatigue is starting to set in for me though, so it’ll be interesting to see if Marvel can keep me on their side in the coming years.

9. Ex Machina

A quiet, deliberately paced sci-fi that’s as captivating as it is unsettling. Stunning visuals and complex characters make it a winner, even if one those characters isn’t human.

8. Inherent Vice

To me, 2015 was the year of seriously strange but brilliant films, and Inherent Vice may have been the strangest of them all. Enjoy it for it’s melancholy and surreal (yet quite funny) take on 1970’s culture – just don’t think too hard about it’s incoherent plot.

7. Paddington

Recent times have been chock-full of updated versions of children’s shows. Most of them aren’t worth your time (Smurfs, anyone?). But Paddington is a definite exception. It’s about as fun and charming as you could ever hope for from a family movie.

6. The Martian

Another year, another fantastic semi-realistic space movie (I’m also thinking of Gravity and Interstellar). Despite a couple of far-fetched scenes, this may be the most realistic of the three, yet it never compromises on entertainment value and humour.

5. Imitation Game

A masterful biopic that just scrapes into the list due to its release date (1st January). It might play fast and loose with the historical details, but its such a well told story that I’m not sure I care. In the end, the audience walks away convinced that Alan Turing was a brilliant man who was unfairly treated by the authorities – and that much seems to be very true.

4. Birdman

I’ve never been a fan of director Alejandro G. Inarritu’s work. 21 Grams felt like a waste of time, and Babel was just its slightly better cousin. If I’d written a letter to Alejandro a couple of years ago with suggestions for his next film I would have asked him to; add some humour, use more long tracking shots, and make the plot more focused. Turns out that’s exactly what he had planned anyway, because Birdman has all of that in spades. It’s also probably the weirdest film to ever win Best Picture at the Oscars.

3. Inside Out

Pixar’s return to form is jam-packed full of laughs, creativity and tearworthy moments (but I just had something in my eye, I swear). It’s also great to see a family film with a different sort of message. In a sense it may be another version of the “just be yourself” message that we always see in these films, but it approaches it from such a unique angle that even the adults in the audience are likely to walk away with a new perspective.

2. Star Wars: The Force Awakens

As a massive fan of the original trilogy (at this moment I’m surrounded by at least three pieces of Star Wars memorabilia) The Force Awakens was never going to live up to my hopes and dreams. But amazingly, it came pretty damn close. My main problem with it is that it follows the formula of first film (Episode IV) a little too closely. I’m glad it came close to recapturing the feel of those older movies, but it also flirted dangerously with being a repackaged version of the same film.

1. Mad Max: Fury Road

Remember when I said that 2015 was the year of seriously strange but brilliant films? Well, this was at the forefront of my mind. I remember seeing the trailer and thinking it looked like the craziest thing ever. Turns out I wasn’t wrong. So much about it is batshit insane that it makes the original Mad Max films look  like The English Patient – but it’s also a masterclass in energetic, enthusiastic, thrilling cinema and should not be missed.

Honourable Mentions: Selma, Shaun the Sheep, Still Alice

Some of the Movies I DIDN’T See But Probably Should Have: Straight Outta Compton, Crimson Peak, Sicario, Hunger Games: Part 4, Amy, Foxcatcher, Theory of Everything

Worst (That I Saw) of the Year: A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence

Usually I’d use this space to whine about some mainstream blockbuster that I felt was overrated. Not this time though. This time I’m choosing an artsy, relatively low budget film that was seen by few but loved by critics all over the world. Why? Well, just think of all the typical complaints that people usually have about arthouse films, because this time  they’re all valid (e.g. Tedious. Nothing happens. Pretentious. Unfunny. Waste of time.). Feel free to give it a shot if you want to try something different, but remember that different doesn’t necessarily mean good.

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What do you think? Let me know in the comments below! Or check out my movie lists from previous years here.

A Very Leroy Christmas

 

Still feeling Christmassy? Great! This comic I did about Rudolph is just for you.

Broken World

 

Want to see some more stuff? Here’s my report card for Humanity, showing why I think we are slowly fixing the world … and here are more talking animals.

5 Reasons Why ‘Gulp’ by ECHO KID is One of the Best Albums You’ve Never Heard

They’ve received hardly any radio airplay. They’ve only ever played one show. There aren’t any physical copies of their recordings available anywhere. And they have so few Facebook followers that the whole lot of them could probably fit comfortably in your house.

Yet I believe that Perth act, Echo Kid, have already achieved great things, simply because of the brilliance of their debut recording (which you can stream here or at the bottom of this page).

So here are 5 reasons why you should follow that link right now, devour the entire album, and start spreading the word about this criminally-neglected music-baby.

1. Every Track is A Winner

People say that a chain is only as strongest as it’s weakest link. People also say that vaccines will give you autism – so obviously they can’t always be trusted – but in this case I think they are on to something. I love being able to listen to an LP all the way through without feeling an urge to skip a track, and that’s no problem with ‘Gulp’. In fact it’d be hard to pick a favourite song (though at a push I think I’d choose the slightly sinister-sounding, Talk). The whole thing flows along nicely, often moving from giddily upbeat to chilled out within the space of one song, but without the transition ever feeling too sudden. It’s the kind of thing that established bands spend decades trying (and usually failing) to achieve.

2. It’s Fun on a Bun (Without Being Daft)

It takes about 45 seconds for it to become obvious that Echo Kid don’t want to be taken too seriously. Right from the start there is a playfulness to every sound and every lyric, and it’s clear that their main aim is to put a childlike smile on your grumpy, adult face. But there’s nothing here that could be dismissed as novelty – and there are definite smarts behind the silliness. Perhaps that shows through most of all on Meet You at the Bomb Factory – a song that manages to be cute and romantic while also touching on themes of war and detachment.

3. It Expertly Walks the Fine Line Between Electro and Rock

Call me old-fashioned but, for the most part, I don’t really like electronic music. If given a choice between a guitar chord and a synth squeal – I will take the guitar any day. I may also then smash your synth with the guitar for good measure.

So it’s quite a feat that Echo Kid have made an album that I really like, despite it being full of electronic squeaks and whirrs. It all works because they’ve hit on a great balance where the synths and the guitars complement each other, rather than overpower one another.

4. It’s Kooky But Never Pretentious

I can’t say that I find Echo Kid’s music all that strange, but it’s telling that the only review by a Triple J presenter on their Unearthed page starts with “This is pretty weird stuff”. The band themselves describe their music as “unorthodox “and “never far from a sense of madness”, so you know that at the very least it’s the kind of thing that would make your nearest commercial radio station run a mile. To me, the kookiness is all part of the appeal, but let’s be clear about one thing – this is pop music through-and-through. Every track is centred around memorable melodies, conventional song structures, and radio-friendly running times. In fact, one of my few complaints about the album is that I wish that the band had given in to self-indulgence every now and stretched out some of the tracks for longer.

5. The Production is Brilliant

One half of the act is Perth music producer, Laurie McCallum, so as you’d expect, the production is spot on (the other half is illustrator, Johnny Foley). The record has really benefited from Laurie being able to take his time with tweaking different elements and adding plenty of layers. I know that its not the fault of local bands that they can’t afford more than a few hours at a time in a studio, but it’s a nice change to have something that doesn’t sound like it was thrown together within half an hour in a tin shed.

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So that’s enough chit-chat. Now stop wasting time and get listening! You can also learn more about the band here and become a true Gecko Squid (suggested name for Echo Kid fans).

Top 15 Albums of All Time

It’s the 15th of ’15, which means it’s time for me to join a handful of other bloggers in listing my 15 favourite albums (check out the other blogger’s lists here).

Please enjoy and feel free to share your own list with me …

15. Muse – Showbiz (1999)

Muse’s debut that most people dismiss as a Radiohead rip-off.

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14. Arcade Fire – Neon Bible (2007)

The hipsters’ favourite band before they ruined it all by winning a Grammy.

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13. Weezer – Weezer (1994)

The first of three self-titled albums manages to be genius despite the drummer doing almost exactly the same thing over and 0ver for 40 minutes straight.

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12. Mars Volta – Deloused in the Comatorium (2003)

Apparently the band were on more drugs when they made this album than at any time afterwards, yet it’s actually the most accessible thing they ever did. Weird.

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11. Radiohead – The Bends (1995)

Radiohead set out to prove that they weren’t just one-hit-wonders, and accidentally convinced a sizeable portion of humanity that they were the greatest band on Earth … and Thom Yorke is still pissed off about it.

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10. Modest Mouse – Good News For People Who Love Bad News (2004)

Dance all dance hall everyday gonna dance all dance hall every day dance all dance hall every day gonna dance all dance hall every day dance all dance hall every day dance all dance hall every day …

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9. Smashing Pumpkins – Siamese Dream (1993)

I don’t know what happened but somewhere along the line the guy that wrote this album turned into the guy that made albums as bad as The Future Embrace. It’s still hard to believe.

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8. Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here (1975)

I’ve often had to correct people when they’ve assumed I’m a regular recreational drug-taker. I’m not sure why people keep getting that impression, but my love of Pink Floyd albums probably has something to do with it.

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7. Radiohead – Kid A (2000)

The band’s apparent attempt to lose most of their pesky, loyal fans by making an album so weird that most people would run away screaming. Unfortunately for the band it’s actually brilliant – even though it takes about 250 listens to start to appreciate it fully.

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6. Queens of the Stone Age – Songs for the Deaf (2002)

I’m so hardcore that the heaviest band in this list has a singer that sounds like he could have been a 1940’s crooner alongside Sinatra.

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5. Pink Floyd – Dark Side of the Moon (1973)

One of the most popular albums of all time is, not-surprisingly, very very good … even when it’s not synched up to Wizard of Oz.

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4. Eels – Electro-Shock Blues (1998)

Suicide, madness, cancer, funerals – all without any metaphors to hide behind. Sound like a good time? If you said “yes”, this is the album for you!

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3. Arcade Fire – Funeral (2004)

My ex-girlfriend once said that she couldn’t listen past the first song on this album because that one track kept turning her into an emotional wreck. Strangely, I can kind of understand where she was coming from. Though if she hasn’t listened to the rest of it by now, that’s pretty weird.

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2. Flaming Lips – Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots (2002)

Who said that great albums can’t have silly titles?

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And number 1 is …..

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1. Radiohead – OK Computer (1997)

Every track is amazing. Yes … even Fitter Happier.

Report Card for Humanity (Millenium Development Goals)

Which one is it going to be?  … (Picture: Ron Leishman)

Dear Humanity,

Please see below for an overview of your performance during the assessment period of 1990 to 2015. The grading key is as follows …

A = All targets achieved

B = Significant progress made for all targets

C = Progress made for many targets

D = Worsening for most targets

F = Worsening for all targets

If you have any questions, please see the complete details of your assessment at this link …

 

SUBJECT 1: POVERTY AND HUNGER

Grade: A-

You have achieved great things in this subject. The ambitious goal of halving the proportion of people living on less than $1.25 per day (extreme poverty) was met, and the proportion of people suffering from hunger was significantly reduced. You must not get complacent though, as there will be new issues to face that could undermine much of your hard work in this subject.

 

SUBJECT 2: UNIVERSAL PRIMARY EDUCATION

Grade: B+

Universal primary education has not been achieved, but excellent progress has been made, with the number of out-of-school primary-age children being almost halved. Enrolment has increased from 80% to 91% in developing countries, and youth literacy has increased dramatically in all regions.

 

SUBJECT 3: GENDER EQUALITY

Grade: B

Gender parity has been achieved for primary education in many regions (ie. as many females enrolled as males), and almost all regions have moved toward parity (or toward a higher proportion of women than men) for all education levels. Women still have less access to paid employment, lower wages, and lack of political representation, but progress is being made in most regions. However, it must be acknowledged that the assessment criteria for this period doesn’t cover all aspects of gender equality.

 

SUBJECT 4: CHILD MORTALITY

Grade: B

Fantastic improvements in the under-five mortality rate were made, but they were not enough to reach the 2015 goal. Vaccines and treatment of preventable infectious diseases must remain a focus if your hard work in this subject is to continue paying off.

 

SUBJECT 5: MATERNAL HEALTH

Grade: B-

It’s easy to see you made an effort, and the way you almost halved the maternal mortality rate was impressive. Still, you were quite a long way from your reaching your targets. More focus on key aspects like people in rural areas, would have gone a long way to helping you get a better grade.

 

SUBJECT 6: MAJOR DISEASES

Grade: B+

Your work on halting the spread of HIV/AIDS was tremendous. The number of new HIV infections has plummeted and HIV-related deaths has fallen in a similar way. You have also made excellent progress with other major diseases, like tuberculosis and malaria. That Ebola situation was a pity, but at least you learnt a few valuable lessons from that experience.

 

SUBJECT 7: ENVIRONMENTAL SUSTAINABILITY

Grade: C-

This was clearly your weakest subject. The 50%+ increase in greenhouse gas emissions was particularly disappointing. Biodiversity trends have been difficult to quantify but the extinction rates generally appear to be getting worse, and the number of coral species you have lost in the last 25 years is alarming. Still, the good work you did must also be acknowledged. The ozone layer is now recovering, and billions of  people have gained access to safe drinking water and sanitation thanks to your efforts.

 

SUBJECT 8: DEVELOP GLOBAL PARTNERSHIPS

Grade: B-

Although there is plenty of room for improvement, your treatment of the world’s least developed countries did seem to improve over the assessment period. More official assistance was given, tariffs were lowered, and debt burden was generally eased. Progress has also been made on the target of making beneficial technologies and essential medicines available to all.

 

FINAL COMMENTS

You have achieved so much over the last 25 years. You must now work extra hard to ensure that these gains continue and that the few worsening criteria are turned around quickly. The next assessment period will focus heavily on environmental issues, and seeing as you struggle with that subject, it will be a big challenge. However, you have recently shown that you can do amazing things when you really try – so there’s no reason to think that you can’t do the same with the environment.

One last point – you are too hard on yourself. It’s true that it can be frustrating seeing you not realise your full potential, but often it seems that you obsess over your setbacks and only make the situation worse.

You should be proud of yourself, Humanity. You are doing much better than you give yourself credit for.

Response to Empire Magazine’s ‘300 Greatest Movies of All Time’

I love a good list, but I really love taking a good list and tearing it apart. So seeing as Empire Magazine recently published the results of their readers poll, it’s time for me to tell you why it’s wrong.

The readers voted for their 300 favourite films of all time (I’ve seen 225 of them) and you can see the full list here (though strangely it’s slightly different to the printed version). But in the meantime …

Where Was …?

First, let’s look at the omissions. Personal favourites Ringu, Coraline, Serenity and Men In Black were all missing in action, but perhaps those were long-shots anyway. More shocking, was the absence of The Sixth Sense and This is Spinal Tap.

“I see dead people … because I’m going to kill every one of you that didn’t vote for my movie”

Sure, we all got sick of M. Night Shymalan over a decade ago, but it’s sad to see that people have forgotten just how fantastic his breakthrough was. Perhaps many of us only remember the twist ending, but if you re-watch it you’ll find that the twist is just a small part in the brilliance of the overall film. And then there’s Spinal Tap – the quintessential mock-umentary and the funniest film about music ever made.

It’s also the ONLY movie to be rated out of 11 on IMDB.com … It should go straight to the top 100 just for that.

This But No That?

Some personal favourites rated poorly or didn’t make it, yet lesser films by the same director were high achievers. Tim Burton scored highly but there was no Ed Wood or Nightmare Before Christmas, George Romero got a look-in but for the somewhat-silly Dawn of the Dead rather than his original masterpiece (Night of the Living Dead), Darren Aronofsky’s pompous mess was there (The Fountain) but no sight of the poignant simplicity of The Wrestler, and Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master was one of his highest rated films (no doubt helped by Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s tragic death) yet Punch Drunk Love was nowhere to be found.

No doubt hindered by Adam Sandler’s tragic later movies.

But most upsetting for me was the absence of Adaptation in the list – the amazing Spike Jonze/Charlie Kaufman effort about love, life, loss, creativity, depression and Nicholas Cage’s receding hairline. Instead, the only Kaufman films to make it were Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind at #78 (hooray!) and Synecdoche, New York at #197 (what?!). I mean, I like Synecdoche, but honestly it’s not even half the film that Adaptation is. Sadly, I think this might be another case of the recently-dead-actor effect, as Synecdoche was another showcase of Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s talents.

What’s This Doing Here?

Now for the flicks that just had no place being in the list. Most of them can be explained away by their new-ness. Avengers 2, The Hobbit Part 1, and Captain America 2 will surely lose their place when this poll is rerun in a few years time. But I’d argue that older films, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and The Goonies, are in there only because people have mistaken nostalgia-value for quality. I rewatched both quite recently and I can confirm they aren’t nearly as good as we remember.

And yes this does include taking Chunk’s Truffle Shuffle into consideration

Some Sacred Cows Need to Be Slaughtered

This is the section that’s most likely to upset people so let’s get it over with quickly. It’s like a band-aid that has to be ripped off fast for your own sake.

Long-story-short; Jaws, Watchmen, Skyfall, The Social Network and Drive, aren’t as brilliant as people think. They’re all very good films but either; they have pacing issues that everyone overlooks (Jaws at #8), they aren’t nearly as good as the source material (Watchmen at #153), they’re outclassed by other instalments in their series (Skyfall at #45 while Casino Royale only made #160), or I’ve just never been able to understand why people went quite so insane for them (Social Network at #148, Drive at #49).

And while we’re at it, does The Dark Knight really deserve to be called the 3rd Greatest Film of All Time? Again, it’s a movie that I liked a lot but despite seeing it twice I feel like I must have missed something. It’s so intensely loved by so many people that every second person must have been thinking “OMG THAT WAS THE BEST THING EVER” as the credits rolled, yet my thoughts were more like “Well, that was quite good. What time’s lunch?”.

“There will be no lunch. Now that you’ve dissed Dark Knight, an army of fans will be at your location within minutes to stab you to death with pencils”

But On The Other Hand …

Despite all this, I’m generally very happy with the list. Personal favourites that I thought were seen as cult films without much mass appeal fared incredibly well, particularly The Big Lebowski at #24 and Donnie Darko at #84. Despite being such an oddity, Lebowski seems to pick up more and more fans as time goes on, and I’m happy to see that Darko’s reputation hasn’t been tainted by the fact that director, Richard Kelly, hasn’t made anything of much worth since.

“Wait a second, I also made … umm… and then there was … Damn, you’re right.”

A number of movies that I’ve rewatched many times finished in the top 100, namely There Will Be Blood, Gravity, Clockwork Orange, Memento and Back to the Future. I was also pleased to see Back to the Future Part 2 make it at #294, which I count as one of the best sequels ever made.

And speaking of incredible sequels – what about that number 1 (Empire Strikes Back)? This is the first time I’ve seen it top a poll like this (more commonly it’s The Godfather or Shawshank Redemption) but I think it deserves a turn in the premier position. It’s possibly the film that has impacted pop culture more than any (you can hardly go a day without seeing some kind of reference to it) and though Star Wars may have given us the modern day blockbuster, Empire gave us the modern day blockbuster with a sad ending – showing that movies could be true popcorn-fodder while still having depth and not always following a predictable formula. Of course, as a big Return of the Jedi fan I’m always a bit baffled by the fact that Jedi isn’t nearly as well loved but at least that made it into the list as well  at#120.

I know what you’re thinking, but come on, the Ewoks weren’t THAT bad.

So, I suppose you did a pretty good job, Empire readers. Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll even forgive you for leaving out Spinal Tap.

.

Agree? Disagree? What are your own favourite films? If you need something more to get you angry enough to comment, how’s this? – Dark Knight is really terrible and Heath Ledger was an awful Joker.

Want more like this? Try My Fave Films of 2014 or My Faves of Other Years.

The HOTTEST Blog Post Ever (Part 1)

Today I didn’t know what to blog about. Luckily Start Blogging Online had 101 tips to make my blog so HOT it will burn another hole in the ozone layer.

When will the Antarcticans learn? Their HOT blogs are causing havoc with that thing!

I didn’t know which one of the tips to use, so I figured it was safest to include all of them (well the first 50 for now).

HOT BLOGNESS HERE I COME!

 kjlkj

#1 Run a contest

First person to reply on this post gets a virtual egg. Do it. You know you want to.

#2 Review books/products/films

Birdemic is terrible. You should watch it now.

#3 Make comprehensive guide/tutorial

How to Make Toast: Put the bread in a toaster and push the thing down, you dummy.

#4 Interview someone

ME: So, do you like stuff?

WIFE: Shhh, MasterChef is on.

ME: Thank you for your time.

#5 Post a cool infographic

O

(The red portion represents the percentage of USA’s population that drive a hybrid. The white portion is everyone else. Standard error +/- 95%)

#6 Criticize a website/blog or a person

Donald Trump is not very good.

Tony Abbott is not very good.

Chad Kroeger is not very good.

Michael Mann is not very good.

Zack Synder is not very good.

Janet Albrechtsen is not very good.

… Damn I could have just done a whole post on this one.

#7 Make a post full of GIFs

I refuse to do this one. I know that it’s popular to make  “Goats I’d Fool around with” posts these days, but it’s just not my thing.

#8 Create a photo post

There you go. It’s now a photo post.

#9 Tell a personal secret

I once ate a piece of butter because I thought it was cheese.

#10 Write inspirational/motivational post with famous quotes

“When life sucks just remember that it’s okay because one day you’ll be dead anyway.” – Me.

#11 Share recent travel experiences

I rode my bike into the city today. I saw a swan.

#12 Host a giveaway

More prizes?! Ok, fine. Second commenter also gets a virtual egg.

#13 Write down a conspiracy theory

Theory: All conspiracy theorists are working together in a conspiracy to make themselves seem stupid and annoying, so that everyone else gets sick of them and sends them out into space, because that’s where they always wanted to live.

#14 Show log files of intense conversations

Person 1: You suck!

Person 2: No, you do!

Person 1: Woah this is getting intense.

Person 2: True. Maybe we should stop before things get out of hand.

Person 1: Good suggestion. Want some virtual egg?

#15 Write a short story

For Sale. Baby shoes. Never worn because some idiot bought us the wrong sized baby shoes for our perfectly healthy baby.

#16 Sing a song

Done that one.

#17 Create a list of something

Here’s a list of the keys I hit when I mash my palm against the keyboard  nbvbnmnbnjcbgnkj,mnmn

#18 Write down all the thoughts you had in mind today

Oh I’m awake.

*Censored*

Good night.

#19 Share your goals/dreams publicly

I want to finish this blog post. It’s taking a long time. I don’t know if I’ll ever achieve my goal.

#20 Make a link carnival and ask others to join

A what now? Well okay, here’s a link. Join in. Is it a carnival yet?

#21 Announce that you’ve turned the comments into “do-follow” so you can get more comments

I don’t get this one either. But hey it just says I have to announce it, not follow through with it. So …

I have turned the comments into a do-follow!

#22 Build your to-do list

To do: Finish this shit. Go to bed.

#23 Write a post in response to some recent post/news

The gay marriage Supreme Court decision in USA was pretty great. No joke here.

#24 Make a full case study about something

Hypothesis: These tips will make this a HOT blog. Stay tuned to find out whether it worked.

#25 Share your favorite blogs/bloggers in one post

Here’s a blog about cheese. That’s all you’re getting. Don’t be greedy.

#26 Invite your readers to submit guest posts

Yeah okay. They’d better be as good as that cheese guy’s posts.

#27 Publish the best comments that your blog has received throughout the history

I believe I’ve covered this.

#28 Share your blogs income + traffic numbers

Zero and pretty close to negligible.

#29 Tell a joke

Australia is in the safe hands of a brilliant leader.

#30 Bust a myth

MYTH: The Earth is hollow.

TRUTH: No it’s not, you idiots. Do really believe that? What the hell are you thinking? I mean, for f***’s sake, aren’t you embarrassed? I wouldn’t even be able to show my face among other conspiracy theorists if I believed that. Even the people that believe in Bigfoot must be shaking their heads in disbelief at you. Go take a long look at yourself. Come back when you’re ready to apologise.

#31 Produce or publish your art

==OO==

(An abstract portrait of Elton John)

#32 Publish a post about your success and epic failures

I once failed to interview Wife for this blog post.

#33 Ask your readers to tweet, like, and share the posts they like

Sure. Do it.

#34 Start a poll

Question: Can you ever be bothered answering poll questions?

Give your answers in the comments.

#35 Write a post about things you regret doing/not doing

I’m kind of regretting starting this post.

#36 Pose a rhetorical question in your blog post

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits that Bob Dylan wasn’t even that great?

#37 Post a picture that speaks more than thousand words

See the frog picture above. That tells the story of a tiny amphibian cowboy trying to find his way home in a hostile environment, and having a great time doing it!

#38 Publish some little or unknown facts

Did you know that 17% of facts are made up on the spot?

And 28% of facts are ripped-off from Simpsons quotes?

#39 Publish an In Memorian post

I kind of wanted to do this for Phillip Seymour Hoffman but was too lazy. Oh well, I’ve done it now. That was easy!

#40 Bring out the most important dates in history

This date once successfully defended a kitchen from a whole platoon of enemy prunes.

#41 Tell about your latest event experiences

I went to a Jazz Festival. I saw a swan.

#42 Publish your CV online

Well, it’s not really mine, but I think this is quite a nice looking check valve.

#43 Post an obvious lie

Start Blogging Online’s advice for this one …

“You can turn things upside down when you tell an obvious lie inside your blog post. People might get mad at you, but that doesn’t matter.”

Wait, so lying about things to purposely get attention and piss people off doesn’t matter?

Okay, I’ll take their advice … no it doesn’t matter.

#44 Write where you’d like to travel

To the centre of our Hollow Earth.

#45 Blog about marketing secrets

Keep all your money under your bed. Depreciation can’t get to it there.

#46 Write about the most important lessons you’ve learned in your life

Trust me – money under the bed.

#47 Tell your readers what they should do to succeed

Write better blog posts than this one. Watch Birdemic.

#48 Do a video post about your day

Okay.

#49 Show off your personal stuff; car(s), house, accessories

I was kidding. This really is my check valve.

#50 Build a list

What? Again? I’m sure we did this before. Well anyway … kalsjdhfkadjsfadskfpafdsh

lkj

Well, that’s done. Now to wait for the hotness to flow … See you next month when I’ll be the world’s HOTTEST blogger!

5 Reviews of Youtube Videos You’ve Never Seen

These days you can find reviews of almost everything.

Do you need to find out whether it’s worth watching that Latvian arthouse film you saw advertised on a single poster on the side of a rubbish bin down a dark alley? Don’t worry. There are 10,000 reviews for it on IMDB.

Want to know which tiny little burger place you should be telling your friends is way better than McDonalds, even though you had 7 Big Macs last week? It’s cool. Urban Spoon has you covered.

But it’s not enough.

Personally, I won’t rest until every single person in the world has shared their opinion on every single thing in the world … and I’m going to get the ball rolling by reviewing videos that practically no one has ever seen. I mean, someone has to review them!

1. Apartment Tour Video

Wow, we’re off to a great start! Sure, this video starts out a little slow – although you have to admire the use of space and the nice floral motif on the doors – but what about that surprise outdoor shot at the end?! Who saw that coming?!

Still the video could have fallen down at that moment if it wasn’t for the powerhouse performance that the mountain at the back of the shot puts in. Not since Marlon Brando appeared in The Godfather for about 20 seconds has an actor/inanimate object stolen the show so thoroughly with such little screen time. Inspirational work.

View Count: 18

2. For the Love of God, Please Buy This Chevrolet

I admire the effort that has been put into this video, but in the end it was just sad. The director was obviously so desperate for approval that they were blinded to the flaws of the film. I’m sure that not even they truly believed that anyone would ever be convinced to buy the car. Yet they continue to inundate the audience with shot after shot of the car from endless angles, as if maybe – just maybe – the constant bombardment will eventually cause a minor breakdown in the viewers and someone will buy the car in a moment of temporary insanity.

As I said … it’s just sad.

View Count: 25

3. Person Hits a Ball with a Bat

I love the suspense that is built over the first 3 seconds of this video. I was on the edge of my seat wondering whether or not she would hit the ball (though that isn’t 100% accurate because it takes me about 5 seconds to move to the edge of my seat on a good day). The creators made a wise decision not to keep the audience hanging for too long though, and by the fourth second I was flooded with relief that there was going to be a happy ending to this tale. The only pity is that the editors weren’t a little more ruthless. Clearly those last two seconds were just superfluous to the plot and should have been left on the cutting room floor.

View Count: 14

4. Video of a Yellow Car

I tore into the Chevrolet video, so you may expect me to give an equally unkind review to this one. Au contraire! For the difference here is cinematography. Where the Chevrolet video relied on dozens of Michael Bay-esque quick edits, this video is all about the old fashioned long-sustained tracking shot. If you were impressed by the long unedited takes in Birdman and Children of Men, you will no doubt be captivated by this.

View Count: 23

5. Pencher

At first I didn’t think I would enjoy Pencher. I was worried that I would find it too repetitive, too derivative, or perhaps just incomprehensible seeing as the only word in it is in a language I don’t understand. I needn’t have worried though. Once the video got going I found myself entranced by it. It didn’t matter that it was just one word repeated over and over with a simple graphic – I was hypnotised. Full credit must go to the set designer, as the use of stark black and white with just a splash of yellow was a genius decision. Not even Sin City managed to use colour so effectively.

View Count: 21

Well, I hope this post has been enlightening for you. Thank you to Petit Tube for making it possible!

Want more like this? Why not try this post about terrible things or this one about funny search terms?

Adventures in Japan

Remember when I said that Japan was my dream destination? Well – as my pal Gabrielle once said many times in quick sucession – dreams do come true!

Let’s travel back in time and take a look at that very trip via. the magical power of photography. We started with the food-mecca of Osaka …

… and visited the deer of Todaiji temple in Nara.

Next we enjoyed sakura (cherry blossom) season at the newly re-opened Himeji Castle …

… and took the bullet train to Hiroshima for the inspiring nearby Miyajima (where we watched a traditional wedding) and the horrible history of the Peace Memorial Park area.

Next up was Kyoto, which was full of wonderful temples and shrines – plus more beautiful sakura …

Then it was time for the intensity of Tokyo …

… for the ridiculous fun of Shinjuku’s Robot Restaurant, …

… the serious business of the Tsukiji tuna auction (got up 2 am for it!), …

… the unusual experience of a Maid Cafe, …

… the insanely tall Tokyo Sky Tower (pictured: 50% of it), …

… and the unique “manga cafes”.

We also managed to get tickets to the Ghibli Museum (which I was obviously very excited about) …

… and I sang public karaoke for the streets of Harajuku before hitting the picture booths.

But did we see anything with that trademark Japanese weirdness? Well, yes, and for me this was the best example (also in Harajuku) …

Thankfully we were also smart enough to take a break from Tokyo. We visited Lake Kawaguchiko which was sadly so foggy that we never saw Mt. Fuji – though it did give us a chance to discover the giant automatic organ of Kawaguchiko Music Forest …

… and that was just a warm-up for the amazing Takaragawa Onsen (hot springs) – one of the best ways to finish up a hectic holiday ever.

Till next time, Japan!

 

Want more travelly stuff? I’ve heard you’re curious about USA, Malaysia, Tasmania and Brisbane. How lucky that I happen to have posts dedicated to all those very destinations?!