The 4 Best Search Terms of 2012

Fellow blogger, Evil Squirrel, recently wrote this great post about weird search terms that lead people to his blog. He must get a lot of traffic from this sort of thing, because he was able to split up the good ones into categories like “Most Preverted Search of the Year” and “Most Oddly Specific Search of the Year”.

The search terms for my blog aren’t as much of a comedic goldmine but there are enough of them for one lonely category.

Yes, even categories get lonely sometimes.

Yes, even categories get lonely sometimes.

So, without further ado, I give you the nominees for A Hole in the Head’s Search Term of the Year

‘happy feet moive,can i see it but the hole part of it’

Nominated for it’s epic length, bad spelling, poor grammar and the head-scratching fact that someone thought this was an okay way to articulate that they want to see Happy Feet in full.


I was actually going to look up the definition of this word before I realised it was supposed to be “comic elephant”. This being the internet, I have to assume the person was on the hunt for Babar porn and they’d meshed their words together in excited, amorous anticipation of some sweet, sweet Celeste action.

Pictured: Hotness

‘axl rose nude’

Speaking of sweet action … or on second thoughts, just no. Let’s not. I mean I can see why Axl Rose may have been seen as a bit of a pretty boy in his younger days, but now this collection of words only conjures mental images of an older, cornrow-loving, gross redneck version of Axl with his bits showing. Eww. Somehow I’m more comfortable with the Babar porn.

Never thought I’d type that sentence.

And the winner is …

‘sexual monstrosities’

Surprisingly this is the only entry that can be found verbatim in one of my posts. I used it to describe the music of electronic artist, Tomas Ford. But as a search term on it’s own it is quite baffling. Just what exactly was this person hoping to find?

Was it this?

celeste and sm

Or perhaps they were just looking for a bit of the lovely Roz to keep them company on a cold winter’s night.

“Us slug creatures know how to do things that will blow your little mind.”

Whatever the reason, sexual monstrosities is our winner this evening for it’s pure wtf?-ness.

Which brings us to the end of our very short awards ceremony. So until next time, happy searching!

Spam comments are even more bizarre than search terms. For the funniest spam I’ve recieved so far, click here.

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6 Responses to The 4 Best Search Terms of 2012

  1. I have little doubt there is Babar porn out there somewhere…. and Sexual Monstrosities would be a great name for a band!

  2. I know, right!? And maybe I shouldn’t admit this … but yes there is Babar porn. I checked (for research purposes, of course!). I was a little surprised that Celeste (or any of the female characters) don’t feature in any of it though (or not that I found).
    It was mostly Babar and Rataxes. Maybe it’s the taboo of inter-species love that does it for people :s

  3. picktheseams says:

    lol, nice post Andy… celeste and the sexual monstrosities is a good one…Now I’m curious about my blog.. although it hasn’t been running as long as yours! and thanks for the article from cracked. i tried to get through it all and some of it was pretty entertaining, still on my to do list!

    • (Bit of backstory for anyone reading this. Jen wrote a post including the question “What would the world look like without religion?”. I submitted the Cracked article “10 Things Christians and Atheists Can (And Must) Agree On” as my response. Link:

      Thanks Jen! Yeah that Cracked article is a bit of a long one. It’s an older one from before they seemingly enforced a 2 page maximum rule. But I think it’s great as it seems to summarise a lot of my own thoughts on religion (or Christianity in particular), even if it is written in a very informal way. I think #9 (“Both Sides Have Brought Good to the Table”) is probably the most relevant in answering your question, so you can always skip ahead if you’re pressed for time 🙂

  4. Anna says:

    Nice work Andy Laughed pretty hard. So, when is Celeste and the Sexual Monstrosities playing perth?

    • Thanks Anna!
      I think CSM might be touring here very soon. Aren’t they playing Soundwave? I think they’re one of the bands right at the bottom of the poster where the font gets so small you need a magnifying glass (next to “Chunk! No, Captain Chunk!”).

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